A post on Bad Group Etiquette – but firstly:
Please be warned – profanities ahead – carry on reading at your peril…
(Many thanks to the guys over at http://twochubbycubs.com/ for their kind permission to use the above picture – it was just so much better than anything I could have produced or found)
So this post moves away about being thrifty/frugal and into the realm of “witterings” and “rants” one a number of related aspects and that just bug the hell out of me when at group (and probably other people too).
I think the picture at the top of this article just about says it all. Its one thing to say “Can’t believe I only gained X pounds after my holiday” or “Wow, after that holiday I thought I’d have gained and not lost”. It’s another thing to boast that “you’ve eaten off plan every day and still managed to lose weight”.
Lucky you if you’ve managed to eat “18 takeaways” and lose weight this week. Try it again next week and see if you manage to lose again – chances are you won’t. Yes – admit that you’ve “had a bad week so are surprised at having lost weight” but you aren’t doing yourself and the group any favours by going into detail.
Why aren’t you doing yourself any favours? Simply because it will put you in that frame of mind where you believe you can get away with not sticking religiously to plan every day. It may not be the following week, but it will soon catch up with you.
Why isn’t it doing the group any favours? The key word there is “group” – you are in a group of people – some people may have had a week totally on plan and not lost what they thought they would have deserved (or even gained) – and there you are saying that you had basically disregarded the plan for half the week (or more) and lost. Is that helpful and supporting to them? Or it could be someone that for whatever reason simply is struggling with their journey, finding it hard not to give into temptations of takeaway and cake – but they then here you say about your “18 takeaways”. Again – is that helpful and supportive?
Just admit that you’ve had a week that’s been off plan, and that you’re ready to “draw the line” and get back on track. If you think that getting back on track is going to be hard – ask for ideas/help to avoid the temptations of the takeaway or what are the best choices as you know you’re eating out at <insert restaurant of choice here>.
Talking (or otherwise known as STFU).
I have to admit that I sometimes get close to loosing it when you have a room full of members and at least two people are chatting away whilst the consultant is talking to another member – especially as it always seems to bring about at least a third conversation going in the room.
I don’t know about you – but I was brought up believing that it is rude to interrupt. And that’s what in effect you are doing – but not just the conversation between the consultant and whichever member they happen to be talking to at the time – but the whole group is being interrupted by your chat. Same goes for trying to talk over whoever is talking at the time.
If what you want to say to the person next to you isn’t relevant to the discussion under way at the time – then keep quiet. If it is relevant and possibly of help to the member – either try to catch the consultant’s attention (hand in the air works just as well in adulthood as it did when we were at school) or wait for a suitable break and then “Sorry, could I just say” or “Sorry, could I just ask” is often enough.
Image Therapy is there to help support/guide/help us along the journey – but if person B can’t hear Person A because Persons X, Y, and Z are having a private conversation in the corner – it’s just downright bad etiquette/manners and showing complete disrespect for both the consultant and the member they’re trying to help at that time.
I believe Image Therapy is one of the most important aspects of being a member (but that’s a post for another day) but not being able to hear half of what is being said – well I have to strangle the urge to shout “STFU” at times.